Hi,I am Chandrika Hazarika. I am 22. I know I have mentioned this in one of my previous blogs,and again here because it does have a relevance with what i am about to write today. Since i am 22,i have seen a brief part of my life. Learnt alot from the journey and still learning as i am moving ahead. And today i would like to share one of the lesson i have learnt and that i have been living with it. So here it goes😊-
I have always been a person who loves living on the joys of small things. Maa says,i have always been a bubbly and cheerful one,someone who looks at the world through her pink glasses. I am someone who donot understand the complexities of life at one go,i.e-no matter how much you try to guide/warn me beforehand, I learn only through my experiences. Hence,whatever i face in my life ,i happen to be never prepared for it. I donot take any precautions even for the simplest things in life like- how to talk,what to talk,how much to talk,whom to love,how much to love and so on and maybe therefore,I face the horrendous,disastrous heartbreaks at times. Couple of years ago,i have learnt this is what being an over emotional person is. And just like every ‘normal’ person in this planet,I tried to overcome my ‘shortcoming’. I tried holding back my feelings,i tried being a ‘practical’ person. The ‘rational’ girl tried to limit the amount of words coming out of her mouth and what not. I tried changing myself. It went on and slowly it started taking shape,with the characteristics that I thought I ‘desired’ in me. But somewhere,deep inside,I felt empty. I tried covering it up but no,it didnot work. I was not happy. Yes,things would fall into places,but the amount of safety measures i took for each and every step,for each and every errand drilled out the happiness that I ought to feel. I realized,that in all the time I had been trying to be the person that the world wants me to be,but not the one I actually am. I was losing myself to those unwritten,unspoken but felt rules of the society and happiness? I saw it nowhere . I couldnot let that happen,I could not lose ‘Chandrika’ and that was the moment when I realized that just like all of you,I am also blessed with certain fortes which i had mistaken to be my faults. The treasures that makes me,’me’. I realized that feeling things a little more deeper than others- is okay. Having a pretty sharper and louder voice than others- is okay. Having an accent naturally,that is heard a little different to others which they mistake most of times as ‘facade’ – is also okay. Getting excited at my tiniest achievements and being not able to hide it from others- is also okay. Making mistakes-is okay. Crying out loud when you are hurt infront of others -is very very okay. Being inquisitve is okay. Loving everyone is the best okay😊.Opening my heart out in conversations is also okay.
What is not okay is pretending to be someone whom I am not. It is not okay for me to hold back my emotions. I prefer to get hurt and learn to building walls around me,thinking I am secure and analyze in my mind every step before I take. Because that is not me.
With time I have learnt to appreciate the people around me. I have understood that we are different from one another,with different journies that mould us into the persons we are. Extracting positivity from the lessons life teaches us is what our motive should be. Interospection,interrogation and interaction with ourselves is very very important. That little voice that we have inside us-our ‘conscience’ is the most learned guide we are gifted inately with.
I know this blog contains alot of mistakes and repetitive usage of some words. But feelings are better penned down when you are feeling it and hence this blog😊.
I would like to end my write up ,with some humble reminders for you and me-
1. Always remember that it is okay to be not perfect.
2.You are beautiful.
3. You matter.
4. Learn to forgive yourself and others who hurt you knowingly or unknowingly.
5.We should learn to keep,rather preserve what is good in us and keep the door of our lives open for corrections.
Last but not the least- always love that little child inside you. Listen to him/her, make him/her believe in oneself. Let him/her know that he/she is special.
Let us try being a reservoir of love and kindness,only then we will have love enough to give others and contributing our own little bit in making this world a better place to live in😊.